A trait that I left behind- for good


The first thing that came to my mind when I saw this week’s Daily post was a habit that I had for long, like really loooooong time (the number of o’s in the long should suggest the emphasis I would like to put on ‘long’). It was something I always wanted to get rid of, but well by the devils grace I could never get over it a tiny inch. This particular trait kept me over conscious about myself, vexed me like the buzz of a bee and got on my nerves like the screeches of an annoying kid!! Hear it out people; the habit was – worrying about what others thought about me.

Since my childhood, I have been fortunate (or unfortunate?) to have many people around me who kept gauging each and every move of mine- including the way I dressed, the way I spoke, the way I walked- in short, there were billions and zillions of people giving me their valuable (far too lesser than you think) opinions about each and every single thing I did. The plethora of their opinions often got me confused and I would end up messing up that one thing I had to do. Yes, and there would be many more ‘worthy’ opinions about how to get away from that mess which in turn made things a lot worse than before for ME, me in capitals because, in the end I would have to put up with the situation on my own and no one, absolutely no one stood by me, to lend a shoulder to support on.

This continued for many years, till I realized the worth of my opinions, the power that I had over my life, for it is MY life and no one else need to have a care about it. This happened sometime around those days when I had just entered the phase of adulthood. And therefore, people thought, I was being rebellious and that all this was a consequence of the ugly phase I was going through.

But there was nothing that would hold me back! I deliberately stopped giving heed to people, stopped abiding by what they said, and eventually started living a happy life where I could take a decision without bothering about others and not messing things up. It was not because I hated them that I stopped being advertent, but because I loved myself more and respected my opinions more than theirs. I was not being rebellious, but was breaking away from a habit, that stopped me from living my life. It was something that blocked happiness out of my world and I was only trying to get that happiness back.


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