Gone for long

 

girl

I came by the river side,

From where we watched the tiny waves roll.

Dreaming of a life by the shore,

In a house of our own,

but now the river is still, unmoving,

as if it knew you were gone, gone for long,

leaving me in the trenches of life.

 

I came by the stones at night,

Where we lay on our backs to gaze at the stars.

The sky lit by the glowing moon,

And stars blinking in rhythm as we counted them,

But now the sky was dark like my life devoid of you,

The darkness cast by rain clouds without another hue.

 

I came by the hut during spring,

Where we grew those beautiful roses.

Blood red roses they were among the greens,

Except now they weren’t red, but brown,

Brown that tainted my life with you gone,

Gone for long.

 

I still stand here awaiting my life to come back,

To tell me it was all just a bad dream,

To shake me awake from the incubus,

For you are my life and my breath,

And without you I am but dead.

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Cut down on that

 

expectation

Great expectations lead to greater disappointments. This has been something that I was pondering on for almost two days now. Of course, it came like an aftermath of a conversation I had with my husband.

So, I was going all twaddle about myself the other day and my patient husband, who never has a second choice, was standing next to me with his ears wide open, carefully giving heed to all that I was ranting and raving about.  A bit frantic about not being able to secure a job yet, I was trying to convince my husband, that I really am a smart brainy girl. Having cleared two interviews and having been offered a job at one place, I was still here, not being able to join due to certain unforeseen circumstances. The constant queries that ‘people’ put forth, the devastating look that I get often when they realize I haven’t started working and the statements they make to feed my heart with compassion and sympathy, has just been driving me delirious.

Yes I haven’t got a job; Yes I am not earning; and Yes it shouldn’t be bothering you all if it doesn’t tick our heads a bit. I believe everything happens when it has to happen. No one can force something into their lives just because they have been working hard for it or because they are really yearning for it. As we have all heard, everyone works in their own time zones, and time zone is not a toy that a child plays with; it is a huge, ( not by size really) virtual clock that has ultimate command over our lives.

Now coming back to our conversation, I was telling him about how expectant I always am, how I expect myself to be after a certain incident takes place, and how I make up scenarios in my head surrounding those expectations.  And that is when he popped that question right at me, “You never have a plan B do you? You always expect things to go your way, and finally when it doesn’t (like always) you end up being sad and cry over it like a baby right?” .

He had me there. That is my problem and I guess it is the same for everyone around the world. We expect, we anticipate, we just wait for things to happen and ultimately fall prey to the biggest disease- disappointment. We never have a back- up plan or some option that we could fall back on. Our expectations take the biggest space in our mind and there is not an inch left for the thought, what if maybe, just maybe, this doesn’t work out?

I know it is hard for anyone to let go off even the tiniest thing they would have wished for, but what if that makes way for something bigger and better? Why don’t we hope, yes HOPE that there is something huge opening up for us. A missed opportunity or a failed try might be the knock- knock on that door of the ice cream parlour where you could get the scoop of the best one in store.

So next time you are going rattling mad about something and end up expecting a little too much, stop right there, don’t go overboard and stay calm. For if it happens well, then it is a definite thumbs up for you, but if it doesn’t, you need not worry, something much better is driving itself into your life.

Momy :D

Why is this here? Why aren’t you cleaning your room? Why aren’t you studying? Why are you always in front of the t.v and finally the masterpiece- what you can’t find it? If I come up there and find…

Source: Momy 😀

Momy :D

momy

Why is this here? Why aren’t you cleaning your room? Why aren’t you studying? Why are you always in front of the t.v and finally the masterpiece- what you can’t find it? If I come up there and find it out, then you are going to have a feast!! Yes peeps, as you might have guessed this post is for sure about my mother, who nags and cribs about each and everything that I have done, I am doing and I might probably do. She is my guide, my mentor, the most patient listener and possibly the best mom any one could get, and I am being very honest here, because I know what a gem of a person she is, for all that she has done for me and all that she will do for me! She is the reason I am here today.

I often wonder how she manages to please everyone with her wide smile, rosy cheeks, dimple chin and those poetic eyes. It is like she just has to meet a person, talk with them for a few moments and then you find her laughing away like she is talking with someone she knew for ages! I have to confess; I always try mimicking her ,making the best efforts to get along with people like she does, but believe me it is not as easy as it seems. Even when she is not fond of somebody, she has always got that smile of hers intact, like God sent her with that smile glued onto her face.  She is a wonder- womanI admire her for that, because when I dislike someone, my face becomes a mirror to my heart, conveying exactly what I feel, through weird facial gestures that my family often taunts me for.

Being a working woman, everyone might feel that she never gave me a proper and happy childhood or that she never paid enough attention to me, but I would have to roar it out loud that, I have had the best childhood. And if not for my mother, who has been very understanding, things would have fallen apart quite easily, for she is the adhesive that holds our family together.

Having a husband as crazy as my dad and two harebrained daughters like us, any woman would have gone just rattling mad, but I told you my mom is the best and she controls us like the superior and ubiquitous force that controls the entire cosmos.  If my dad is a superman, then my mom is a superwoman.

The fact that, I get to see my mom only once or twice in a month now is quite saddening, but not to worry, when we meet we make it a point that we fight, scream and ‘nag’ about everything and, that suffices for a month of us being together.

Nonetheless, I have absolutely no idea what I would have done if my mom was not MY MOM. She carried me in her womb for nine whole months, went through that tumultuous pain to bring me forth into this world and raised me to be the person I am today. All the same, I would only take her to be the idol when I have to carry out the role of being a mother. I know; Thank you is just a word of gratitude that you exchange with any person and mum, you are not just any person. But still, Thank you, for being there always, for taking me to task when I committed all those stupid mistakes, for sharing your golden words of wisdom with me and most of all, for being the linchpin of my life.

Nagging-ly (tee-hee)

Your proud little one.

Superman

dadd

This is a little something about someone I would like to call ‘Superman’ aka my dad. My mum always points out to me jokingly that, at right the moment I was born, my dad who could not be persuaded to get on the plane to the Middle East, immediately fled to the desert. And she comes up with the reason for it being that, he knew it then, at the very lucky hour when his second daughter came into this world with her tiny shrieks that she was going to be one expensive commodity. My family has even hailed me the lucky mascot, for having brought riches into it, of course in the form of my father burning his brow and toiling there in the air conditioned room, away from home, away from all of us!

If I were really the reason for him to leave his wife and kids, then I believe it to be another one of his self sacrificing act of love for us. Yes, he loves us, UNCONDITIONALLY!! He puts US before anyone else, he works hard for US (or is it hardly works for us as we jokingly tell him) and he fights for US to get the best in the world. My dad has been my superman always, and that is what he will always be.

Though I haven’t had the luck to stay with my dad for quite a number of years, those times I have been able to be with him is something I would cherish my entire life. When my friends in school and college used to talk long hours of how they spend time with their dads, roaming around with them, driving around the town with them and playing with them, I have not once felt a void in my heart, that Oh! I miss him, because, of course I missed him, but he always made it a point that the emotion of me missing him never went overboard. I have always been a very understanding child myself, because I cannot remember one time when I complained about him not being here with us, as I knew he missed us more, a lot more than we missed him! My heart goes out for him, my dad, who has stayed away from all of us, for almost 22 years of his life, which continues even now.

My dad for one is a very sensitive person; he gets angry in a jiffy, sad in the quarter of a jiffy and happy in the half of a jiffy. Being the youngest, I have not been scolded at a lot by my dad, but if at all he scolds me, I feel the whole world against me, like someone has burnt the tiny little home- my heart, and the flames come out in the form of tears through my eyes. Even today, if my dad raises his angry- young man’s roughish voice a tiny bit, my face would go all red – flushed with the sorrow of having been struck with a metal rod right at my heart (tiny little home).

My father has always told me, you do not have to get the first rank, just know what you are doing, do it with conviction, and you will be happy and successful. But the genuine smile I see on his face when I top the class or do well at work, fills my heart with a certain kind of fulfillment, which is irreplaceable by any other happiness! The fulfillment that I have made my dad proud!

But what I have to let my dad as well as the whole world know is that, I am all the more proud to be your daughter. For all those things you have taught me, all the words you have etched into my mind, all those inside jokes that has made me laugh too much, leaving me gasping for breath- or in short for being my dad, my superman, my KING!

Lovingly,

Forever your little princess